The To Do List

Today I am feeling good. In the past hours I have written a huge letter of complaint to the CEO of Debenhams (all you need to know is that it involves a pair of designer underpants and some very shoddy workmanship), replied to an email that I have been meaning to reply to for the last 212 days (sorry about that Wolverhampton library) and got a duel fuel capped rate for my energy provider and I haven’t even had breakfast yet!

In other January To Do List news I am also proud to declare that yesterday I also managed to tick off item 1 “Post a cake to cousin.” Now the reason that I needed to post a cake to my cousin is that back in October she came up from Southampton for a visit had forgotten to take a cake (cooked by my mum) back home with her. Now my cousin Margery loves my mum’s cake and so she called and asked me to post it to her. Now before you start mocking me let me ask the question: have you ever tried posting a cake to anyone? Well I have and it’s actually ridiculously hard. First off you have to remember to go to your parent’s house and get the cake in the first place (I failed to do this for nine weeks). Then you have to wrap the cake in cling film without cutting your thumb open on the sharp edge bit of the cling film dispenser (I failed that too). Then you have to find a tin of Quality Street, empty out what’s left (basically the pink one’s and two of the green triangles) and stuff the cake inside, seal it up, bang a label on it and take it to the post office. Once at the post office you have to wait in the queue for what feels like a lifetime to be told that it’ll cost you three quarters of a million pounds to post the cake because you’ve put it in a metal tin. So then you go home, get rid of the tin, search around for a strong cardboard box to put the cake in, realise that you don’t actually have any strong cardboard boxes, spend far too long experimenting with non-cake shaped shoes boxes, have a flash of inspiration and empty out all of your taxation documents out of their box file home and put the cake in, wrap it up, take it back to the post office, hand it over while explaining that it’s a cake in a box file only to be told that I could have purchased a ready made box from the stack just behind me. Now that, my friends, is how you post a cake.